Getting Out of the Kitchen

00:00:13: Hello and welcome to the reflection episode following the main episode called The Blame Machine.

00:00:19: Before we dive in, I want you imagine something!

00:00:23: Think about inviting your friends for a dinner party?

00:00:26: You enjoy cooking...and are pretty good at it.

00:00:29: Lately…you've been cooking a lot of Thai food so its theme is the dinner.

00:00:34: One of your friend's is chef on top restaurant And you're bit nervous with their feedback.

00:00:39: but you like a challenge and feel confident that you can serve a great dinner.

00:00:44: It's Friday night, of course not everyone makes it on time!

00:00:48: You plan for that and ask your partner to welcome everybody with the drink which keeps the party out-of-the-kitchen.

00:00:55: Stay focused have everything ready when last person arrives.

00:01:00: Busy as you are don't notice your chef showing up in kitchen observing every move until all sudden they say This smells delicious, but I would lower the heat for the rice.

00:01:12: And if you plan to add this much cilantro You will ruin almost any dish.

00:01:17: How would this make you feel?

00:01:19: Two things come to my mind The feeling of being judged and patronized.

00:01:24: Most people dislike both In particular in combination Especially when we feel capable Of doing something on our own.

00:01:32: Even If the advice is useful It's out-of context.

00:01:36: Your friend has no idea what you're aiming for, and this behavior speaks its own language.

00:01:41: It's a language that is inappropriate to give direction to capable

00:01:45: people.".

00:01:46: Now in the scenario it's fairly obvious who the chef is…it's YOU!

00:01:51: You decided the menu...you bought ingredients ...and are responsible for your result.

00:01:56: But let us just play out this scenario bit further….

00:01:59: So imagine – you took advice?

00:02:01: After all …your friend as a Chef You lower the heat on rice and use less cilantro.

00:02:07: Dinner is served, everyone's enjoying it!

00:02:10: It's a great evening – your friends complement you with delicious food.

00:02:15: You appreciate positive feedback but silently regret taking advice.

00:02:21: The rice needed much longer requiring to keep other parts warm for too long And the cilantro is barely noticeable.

00:02:28: Then your friend says Always helps to have a chef by your side, right?

00:02:34: You just smile and let it pass.

00:02:36: After all It's the dinner party but you may decide not To let this friend into your kitchen The next time whether something like This has happened to you or Not.

00:02:46: think about the last Time you stepped Into someone else's Kitchen watching Someone do Something you know how to Do then saying the thing you were thinking.

00:02:55: most of Us Have done some version Of it as A friend As a parent or as a manager.

00:03:02: When we hold some form of authority and expertise, it's easy to give unsolicited advice –and patronize people!

00:03:09: Though its usually well-intentioned & meant for help… We overlook the impact on such behavior.

00:03:15: Decision making AND accountability are key leadership capabilities but rarely train people how build them in others.

00:03:24: That is why many managers hold onto decisions and demand accountability instead of allowing people to make decisions and take accountability.

00:03:33: In the main episode I shared a Gallup survey where leaders rated their own decision-making highest of seven competencies.

00:03:41: Interestingly, the people dealing with those decisions rated them much lower!

00:03:46: i also explained why demanding accountability sets the wrong focus.

00:03:50: when we stand over other peoples work and micromanage them it doesn't produce more accountability but less Because when we jump in, the message is that We don't believe The person can do it on their own.

00:04:03: This lowers Their belief That they Can Do It.

00:04:06: They're Self-Efficacy!

00:04:08: Thats why Demanding Accountability After Signalling Low Trust In Someone's Capabilities Doesn't Produce Ownership.

00:04:15: Instead, It Produces People Who Manage How Their Work Looks To Others.

00:04:20: Just Ask Yourself When You Feel Most Capable Of Making Good Decisions And Taking Action.

00:04:26: It's usually when you believe you can, When you have a strong sense of self-efficacy.

00:04:32: That is why building it in others Is what great leaders focus on.

00:04:35: They create an environment that nurtures and make people feel capable.

00:04:40: they enable people to Make decisions And take accountability for their work.

00:04:45: People only get better at deciding if they Can learn whether the thinking was sound But thats really What happens when we Only Focus On Outcomes which brings me back to something I mentioned in the main episode, outcome bias.

00:04:59: We look at a result and consider bad outcomes an indicator for poor decisions —and good ones—a sign that we made the right

00:05:06: calls.".

00:05:07: When results are all we look at people learn that a good decision is simply one that worked out!

00:05:13: The actual thinking behind it never gets confirmed or corrected.

00:05:18: Unfortunately... ...we live in a complex world and drawing conclusions primarily based on outcomes is a flawed way to determine what produced success or failure.

00:05:28: Yet, it's how we mostly do it because results are tangible – they're what we measure and get measured against!

00:05:34: If a plumber forgets the close of valve before opening water pipe….

00:05:38: …the connection between decision and result is easy-to see.

00:05:43: But if ten more people were part of process... ...and the result is bad?

00:05:47: What usually look at?

00:05:49: the decision making, or execution.

00:05:52: From result alone we usually can't tell and working backwards is forensic work time-consuming hard to do much harder if you have nothing documented that allows for good analysis.

00:06:04: now what a free review?

00:06:06: decisions regardless of results?

00:06:08: What if rewrote down with need at moment?

00:06:12: when decide?

00:06:13: today I want give three useful practices.

00:06:16: The first one is meant to move away from outcome bias.

00:06:20: I call it leaving traces.

00:06:22: It's the practice of capturing key decision-making points.

00:06:26: Let me give you an example.

00:06:28: Consider a hiring decision.

00:06:30: A final candidate was interviewed across three rounds with several people.

00:06:35: They provided great work sample and two references said they would hire them back any time.

00:06:41: There's only thing that your not sure about.

00:06:44: They're used to an environment with less autonomy and more supervision.

00:06:48: You discuss this with them, your team and decide to hire the candidate despite that potential challenge.

00:06:55: Here's how most people review their decision later if they do it at all.

00:06:59: Maybe six months down a road something isn't working.

00:07:03: The new hire doesn't perform as expected.

00:07:05: A meeting might be scheduled because negative outcome triggered a review But what if there's no problem at all, and the new hire is a success?

00:07:14: Will the hiring decision be reviewed as

00:07:16: well?".

00:07:17: Now I don't mean an onboarding or performance review.

00:07:22: In many cases we lose valuable information by not reviewing our decision-making at all.

00:07:27: We find faults somewhere in the execution And don't look beyond that.

00:07:32: So i want to propose a standing rule for improving decisions.

00:07:36: Set a review date for key decisions, regardless of their outcome.

00:07:40: Then at the moment you decide leave traces by documenting it with these three questions.

00:07:47: Question one what do I feel certain about?

00:07:50: Regarding The New Hire It's everything that you and others evaluated And could judge With A Good Level Of Confidence.

00:07:56: Question two What Am i Uncertain About In The Hiring Scenario?

00:08:01: Its The Potential Challenge Of Working With More Autonomy And Less Supervision.

00:08:06: And question three, what do I expect and how will i manage it?

00:08:10: This is a record of what you anticipate.

00:08:12: And What You Plan to Do About It.

00:08:14: Considerate A Form Of Risk Management?

00:08:17: By the way The questions also work for shared decisions.

00:08:21: Just swap the eye For We.

00:08:23: So Regardless Of Outcome These Three Questions Become A Record Of What Was Known What was Uncertain And The Risks.

00:08:31: You Wait At The Time The Decision Was Made.

00:08:33: If the new hire struggles, you can review their decision with more specific information.

00:08:39: Let's assume that made a plan to gradually increase autonomy and self-responsibility... ...to counter the risk?

00:08:45: Does current performance connect this challenge or is it something entirely different?

00:08:51: Did follow through on the plan… …or default?

00:08:53: how manage rest of your team too soon?

00:08:56: Notice what these questions do!

00:08:58: They keep focussing on how decisions were made.. ..and how was executed.

00:09:03: That's why the review should also happen when nothing is wrong.

00:09:07: And you reveal it.

00:09:07: in the same way, does performance show level of autonomy and self-responsibility that you expected?

00:09:13: Did this plan work out or did you have to adjust along the way?

00:09:17: Both reviews give valuable insights that drive learning from how decision was made and executed no matter result.

00:09:26: That's a practice move away form outcome bias!

00:09:29: Leave the traces of your decision-making by answering three questions.

00:09:33: What do I feel certain about?

00:09:35: what am i uncertain about, and how will manage it?

00:09:40: Then when you review that decision go buy information not result.

00:09:45: This doesn't take long and develops a decision making ability for everyone involved.

00:09:50: Today's second practice is meant to prevent from doing what the chef friend did – stepping in without an actual need.

00:09:58: That can be advice nobody asked for or taking over the work.

00:10:02: Both say the same thing, I don't think you'll get there without me!

00:10:06: that's why i call it holding still.

00:10:08: The goal is to hand people clear-work packages and responsibilities that challenge them enough but also let them succeed.

00:10:16: So the focus of this practice Is to determine the right level of challenge & autonomy so People Can Be Successful On Their Own.

00:10:24: And it's about how you keep yourself from interfering without a good reason.

00:10:29: Because we need to experience mastering something on our own, to develop self-efficacy!

00:10:34: That is how we learn and develop.

00:10:36: There are two parts of this practice – How You Hand Something Over & What You Do While It Is Being Done.

00:10:42: Let us start with the handover.

00:10:43: Look at what that person last finished on their own Without your support…that s your baseline.

00:10:49: The new responsibility goes just one step beyond discuss what the addition is, agree on what good looks like and let them clarify any questions.

00:10:58: Decide in advance what kind of risk would make you step-in and write it down?

00:11:03: Maybe its a commitment that they cannot make.

00:11:05: customer implications can't be reversed or it touches budget you don't own.

00:11:11: Being slightly uncomfortable about this challenge doesn't count.

00:11:15: Extending trust as part letting people develop take accountability.

00:11:20: Let's assume you let someone make a presentation that YOU use to give.

00:11:25: Two days before it is due, they come to you for check-in.

00:11:28: What they prepared looks good but as you read it You see exactly what you do differently.

00:11:34: While It would only take you ten minutes To adjust it...it will take your twenty to explain them how to approach the adjustment themselves and some more time to finish it.

00:11:46: As tempting as it may be to just take over and save everyone some time, don't do it.

00:11:52: Instead invest the extra time in teaching them And ask yourself one question What could actually go wrong if I let them finish this?

00:12:02: When its on your risk list you can step-in but explain why.

00:12:06: then let them finished work If instead It would only cost a bit more time or slightly different from how YOU'd do.

00:12:14: Hold still.

00:12:16: Teaching them how to do it themselves isn't stepping in, doing the work for them is.

00:12:22: Allow people to finish their work and own the outcome.

00:12:25: That's what drives self-efficacy And lets people take accountability.

00:12:30: The third practice Is equally valuable For learning.

00:12:34: I call it Thinking out loud It simply sharing your thinking And reasoning about making a decision And inviting others To do the same.

00:12:43: Whoever makes the decision gives a short explanation of their reasoning and what they considered, And people who hear it can ask questions.

00:12:51: That's It!

00:12:52: People don't learn how to decide by being handed a Decision.

00:12:55: We Learn When we Hear The Reasoning & Thinking Behind It.

00:12:59: There are two parts for this one as well What you share about your thinking when others present A Decision?

00:13:07: When You Communicate A Decision Add These Two Things Again and what you're still not sure about.

00:13:15: Most managers skip the doubts because they think uncertainty weakens their decision, but certainty doesn't invite curiosity or other perspectives!

00:13:26: And if you are a boss people will find it even harder to challenge your decisions presented with full confidence.

00:13:32: This is why episodes on psychological safety & confident humility matter.

00:13:38: If you haven't listened yet I recommend those next.

00:13:41: So allow some space for uncertainty and let people ask questions about decisions you make.

00:13:48: The second part is what you asked.

00:13:50: when someone brings a decision to you, Ask how they arrived at the Decision What They Considered And How Sure They Are Before You Say Anything Because the moment you say what you think... ...you'll influence what they share About HOW THEY MADE THE DECISION.

00:14:06: Now that AI Is Part Of Our Work….

00:14:08: …the importance of this practice grows.

00:14:11: Anyone can produce a well-reasoned explanation with AI without having done the thinking and reasoning at all, which is exactly why they asking part matters even more.

00:14:23: Borrowed reasoning survives the first question – it doesn't survive the following ones!

00:14:29: So here's what I'm asking you to try this week… Take one decision you've made and present by thinking out loud.

00:14:36: Include anything that your not sure about.

00:14:39: Then notice whether your team asks any questions.

00:14:43: You may say that people can always ask, but check how often it actually happens—that's how you know!

00:14:50: Let's briefly summarize todays three practices Thinking out loud, let the reasoning travel with decisions so people can learn from it.

00:15:15: None of these practices take much time but done consistently they build an environment where decision-making moves closer to work and people own their work.

00:15:25: Leading people means getting out of their kitchen assuming that they can cook!

00:15:31: Try them and let me know what changed.

00:15:34: Connect with me on LinkedIn.

00:15:38: In the next two episodes, we'll look at another leadership capability that always mattered but becomes even more important in the age of AI.

00:15:47: So stay curious!

00:15:49: Stay tuned.

00:15:50: Thanks for tuning into The New Work Playbook where work gets better because people matter.