Once, Twice, Culture

00:00:13: Welcome to the reflection episode on culture.

00:00:17: We don't just live in one culture, we're part of several every day.

00:00:21: Let me play you a family scene.

00:00:24: Can I say something before we start dinner?

00:00:26: Oh-oh!

00:00:27: I hear a speech coming.

00:00:29: Son Just listen It's important...

00:00:31: I've been thinking about dinnertime.

00:00:33: That's basically our only time together during the week

00:00:37: And...?

00:00:38: ...and i don't want to lose it.

00:00:40: I want it be our time.

00:00:41: But as soon we bring our phones to the table, We're all distracted.

00:00:46: That's true...

00:00:47: Well what is wrong with that?

00:00:48: I'm chatting with my friends!

00:00:50: Exactly You are chatting with your friends while sitting right here With us…I want Us To be present and talk.

00:00:57: What do you wanna Talk

00:00:58: about?!

00:00:59: I want to know About Your day….What was good?

00:01:02: What wasn't?

00:01:03: I agree..We rarely get to talk So let use this hour for US.

00:01:08: But dad....You always check emails at dinner and I want to keep in touch with my friends.

00:01:13: You're right, honey but i agree with your mom.

00:01:15: we should protect this time together.

00:01:18: so no more email checks at dinner?

00:01:20: Yes!

00:01:21: No More Emails At Dinner.

00:01:23: So let's Keep This Hour For Us.

00:01:25: Dinner Is A Phone Free Zone Okay?

00:01:28: Okay

00:01:29: Hmm... okay..I hope My Friends Won't Mind.

00:01:32: I'm Pretty Sure They'll Survive.

00:01:35: This Family Discussed Something They Value.

00:01:37: they decided to live this value by agreeing to make dinner a phone-free zone.

00:01:42: It's just the short illustration, in reality that discussion could run much longer and agreement may not come as fast.

00:01:50: but think about the teams you've worked in.

00:01:53: how often have you said in conversations about how you want to work together?

00:01:58: A lot of managers still lead with the idea that declaring ways of working based on authority is going.

00:02:07: In the main episode called The Culture Myth, I laid out why a whole company or team culture cannot be declared into being.

00:02:30: Today is about two practices that I consider to be foundational for building a good team culture.

00:02:37: The first one, is about sending norms.

00:02:39: Every team has norms shared expectations About how people work together.

00:02:44: they exist even if the team never discussed and agree To them.

00:02:48: shape your teams culture by defining norms with intention?

00:03:00: They share a history and can speak from what they've lived through together.

00:03:04: An open discussion makes their unspoken norms visible, And helps everyone decide which ones really matter!

00:03:11: I've run this exercise several times... ...and my recommendation is to plan for half-a day.

00:03:16: It's a good team building exercise….

00:03:18: …and it saves you the conflicts that come from people acting on different assumptions about what matters in your team.

00:03:25: Here's how to run it.

00:03:26: Start by explaining what you want to achieve and why shared values in clear team norms matter for a team culture.

00:03:33: Then ask one question, give everyone time to answer it on their own – which values matter most how we work together?

00:03:42: When everyone's finished, ask them pick the most important value or write it on your card.

00:03:48: Collect all cards including yours!

00:03:51: Pin somewhere everybody can see and let everyone read them before any discussion starts.

00:03:58: Next, start around asking each team member to present their value.

00:04:02: Let them explain why it matters to them.

00:04:05: then let the group join the discussion run a second and third round.

00:04:10: Each person picks next value from what they wrote.

00:04:13: The values that get repeated belong on your shortlist.

00:04:16: Most teams arrive at five-to six.

00:04:19: There's reason I recommend sufficient time for this because what you have at this point is only stated values, not norms.

00:04:27: People quickly come up with statements like I want us to respect each other.

00:04:31: it's important to be honest and communicate openly.

00:04:35: i value a team where people help each other but What does this look like when they work together?

00:04:41: A norm describes specific behavior.

00:04:43: It has to be clear enough that everyone understands how its lived coming to an agreement That says we respect eachother is too vague.

00:04:52: You need to define how it shows, what does respect mean for your team?

00:04:57: Let me give you three examples that turn we respect each other into norms.

00:05:02: We respect each others time and stick to agreed appointments and deliverables.

00:05:07: .We respect different ideas & opinions And let others voice them before we discuss.

00:05:13: ,we don't talk about colleagues in a way.

00:05:21: Take the shortlisted values.

00:05:23: Define three norms that tell everyone how they're lived, agree on them together then write them down.

00:05:29: Treat the outcome as your current version not as written in stone.

00:05:34: Place them somewhere every one can access and read them any time.

00:05:38: Keep reviewing How The Norms Survive.

00:05:41: Everyday Interactions Make it Everyone's Responsibility to Protect Them.

00:05:46: Too often people agree to norms and exclude themselves the moment they become inconvenient.

00:05:52: Most don't even realize how easily it happens!

00:05:55: Let's tune back into The Family Dinner, two weeks after the no-phone agreement.

00:06:03: Oh

00:06:18: yes, I was super nervous but everyone...

00:06:21: Sorry!

00:06:21: But this is important.

00:06:22: It's work.

00:06:23: Hi David, give me just a moment.

00:06:25: Guess someone just broke the agreement

00:06:27: Exactly and i'm going to check my phone now too.

00:06:30: Come on please.

00:06:32: don't

00:06:33: That what it looks like when sticking to an agreed norm becomes optional.

00:06:37: The father decided that work comes first.

00:06:40: Maybe it really was that important.

00:06:43: Protecting the norm would have meant making an excuse or explaining himself to his boss.

00:06:48: He chose

00:06:49: not-to.".

00:06:50: His daughter reacted the way most people react, she concluded that it no longer mattered.

00:06:56: what stated only becomes what's practiced when it survives a moment.

00:07:00: It costs us something When we're under pressure and it gets uncomfortable when in agreement is more than a promise kept Only while its easy A norm only turns into.

00:07:11: this Is how We work here when no one can exclude themselves from practicing it, including the leader.

00:07:17: Setting your team norms takes half a day.

00:07:20: keeping them requires attention every day after that which is why consistency is today's second practice.

00:07:28: It has two halves what you do and what you let pass.

00:07:32: Everyone is responsible for protecting what the team agreed to but not in the same way.

00:07:37: Your responsibility carries more weight.

00:07:40: Things that happen between two people should be sorted out between them.

00:07:44: What you don't want is people calling each other out in public, noticing what happens across the whole team is your responsibility.

00:07:52: when You let a behavior pass in front of everyone it gets read as acceptable regardless Of what the norm says.

00:07:59: many leaders underestimate The spotlight they're under and what their measured against Norms get set but then we overlook how often They Get broken And Don't protect Them enough.

00:08:10: Or worse, we break them ourselves without even noticing.

00:08:14: Both weaken people's trust.

00:08:16: letting norm-breaking behavior pass and breaking a norm our selves.

00:08:21: We all do it at some point.

00:08:23: The best way to guard against is train ourselves in consistency.

00:08:28: Consistent in what?

00:08:29: Protecting the defined norms as part of but your team observes far more than that.

00:08:35: Edgarschein named.

00:08:36: six actions carry most weight what we pay attention to and measure, how we react when something goes wrong.

00:08:44: the way we allocate resources.

00:08:46: What we deliberately model and teach –what gets punished or rewarded–and who we promote higher than let

00:08:53: go.".

00:08:54: That's the spotlight leaders are under!

00:08:57: And we rarely acknowledge the importance of building consistency around these actions.

00:09:02: The first action on what you pay attention is about everything that you notice in front your team The questions you ask, what you comment on the things you openly care about.

00:09:14: Imagine someone interrupts a colleague who's sharing different opinion and say nothing.

00:09:19: You may not approve of it but if stay silent everyone quietly takes note and assumes that they find acceptable.

00:09:27: That is how fast a norm like we respect different ideas in opinions gets weakened once twice culture.

00:09:35: It's your responsibility to stop behaviors that go against your team norms.

00:09:40: Consistency also matters for what you measure – this is not just about performance metrics, but what you look at beyond them!

00:09:47: If you say learning as part of how you measure progress….

00:09:51: …but rarely talk-about or invest into it... ...it becomes a footnote.

00:09:55: Make it a regular element of your team meetings.

00:09:58: Talk about what everyone learned including yourself.

00:10:01: Spend time in shared learning sessions.

00:10:04: That's what makes learning something you really measure.

00:10:07: The second action is about your response to mistakes and failures.

00:10:11: that news sparks a reaction before you've said a word.

00:10:15: most of us can't stay poker faced, And if your face gives away information anyway it's better to tell people upfront What to expect from you?

00:10:23: If You're not sure what comes across ask the People who know you well and are willing To Tell you!

00:10:32: And the most important move is to ask what happened before you asked why.

00:10:37: Why puts people on the defensive?

00:10:39: What happened opens up a situation.

00:10:42: Once you've understood this situation, You can explore why it happened and who could help find answers.

00:10:49: The goal is consistency in how we handle these moments.

00:10:53: A clear expectation of your response makes us feel safe for others.

00:10:59: The third action is resource allocation.

00:11:02: Which resource do you think your team watches most closely?

00:11:06: It's your time invested in them!

00:11:08: If you say, You invest in developing Your Team but keep pushing back the Time you blocked for it... ...the message Is clear.

00:11:16: What we protect under pressure is what really matters.

00:11:19: Everything else is optional.

00:11:22: The practice of consistency is to decide In advance how you plan to allocate your time, and to protect it as best you can.

00:11:30: The same applies to any other resource you control – Plan How To Allocate It And Protect the Plan.

00:11:37: What we model and teach is a fourth action.

00:11:40: I often call it Walk-the-Talk.

00:11:43: The father at dinner table failed exactly here.

00:11:46: Leadership Is Modeling Behavior.

00:11:50: When others follow your lead, your own behavior sets the benchmark.

00:11:55: Being open about our own mistakes is one of the best examples.

00:11:59: Managers ask their teams to admit mistakes, and often don't do it themselves.

00:12:04: The vulnerability that comes along with it makes many think it weakens their position.

00:12:10: It actually does the opposite!

00:12:12: The moment you're open about what got wrong You lower your barrier for everyone else.

00:12:17: To doing this consistently builds psychological safety.

00:12:22: Let's connect this example also to the fifth action, what we punish or reward.

00:12:28: You decide whether admitting a mistake gets punished or rewarded.

00:12:32: when it comes to team culture It matters that you do it in front of everyone.

00:12:37: thanking someone for telling you in.

00:12:39: one-to-one teaches only them That they don't get punished unless They talk about it with Someone else.

00:12:45: The rest of your Team has no idea how that conversation went.

00:12:49: Recognition is A form Of Reward.

00:12:52: One-to-one.

00:12:52: it means something to the person.

00:12:55: In front of a team, It teaches everyone what you reward!

00:12:59: You can acknowledge behavior without putting your mistake on display.

00:13:03: Say something like We caught this risk early because John came straight away.

00:13:08: A simple acknowledgement and everyone else knows mistakes don't get punished.

00:13:15: Admitting them early earns recognition.

00:13:18: The sixth action is about who you hire, promote and let go.

00:13:22: These are the decisions your team observes very carefully because they show how to select.

00:13:29: Consistency here means that people can connect their decisions with what you state as selection criteria.

00:13:36: Those criteria have to be transparent and fair.

00:13:39: They cannot contradict your agreed norms.

00:13:42: But many teams experience exactly this.

00:13:45: For example high performers who don't fit, but get excused because they deliver.

00:13:50: The cost of their behavior is never accounted for.

00:13:53: so they consistently exclude themselves from what the team agreed to.

00:13:57: and every time a manager lets it pass –the team learns that norms come with flexibility–that's how one person becomes a team culture problem which makes it leaders responsibility be clear.

00:14:09: performance isn't only thing matters.

00:14:13: TeamNorms apply everyone.

00:14:15: Making this visible in all your hiring and promotion decisions is what builds consistency and trust.

00:14:22: I know six actions are a lot to work on at once, moving forward should always feel manageable!

00:14:28: If you're forming new team or if the team's running on norms nobody ever discussed or agreed to start by defining them – check whether they need an update.

00:14:40: The second practice doesn't need first to be completed.

00:14:43: Pick the two of six actions where you're least sure yourself.

00:14:47: Maybe it's how you react to problems, or what you punish and reward.

00:14:52: Pick two and watch how you act on those for next few weeks.

00:14:55: then take that one too!

00:14:57: That is how we build awareness – and awareness comes before consistency.

00:15:02: One last thing about why leading culture matters even more right now.

00:15:06: AI adoption IS a cultural transformation.

00:15:09: We're asking people to work in new ways, with a technology hardly anyone fully understands.

00:15:15: We are doing it while headlines tell us AI can replace most jobs.

00:15:20: No one can brush aside the anxiety this creates.

00:15:23: but you can decide how you handle AI adoption The same way.

00:15:27: you define team norms.

00:15:29: You can define How your Team works With AI What To Use It For?

00:15:33: What Not To use it for?

00:15:38: The other part is your modeling behavior again, how you use it yourself and how openly you talk about it.

00:15:44: Whether you reward fast adoption over finding the best way to work with it... ...and how you react when something goes wrong.

00:15:52: That's culture work applied to AI.

00:15:55: It determines How Your Team navigates this workplace transformation Norms tell your team what they agree to.

00:16:02: Consistency Is What Builds Trust Over Time And what you let pass teaches people, What really matters.

00:16:10: Once twice culture.

00:16:13: It's in your hands to lead culture with intention.

00:16:17: That's it for today.

00:16:18: In the next episode we'll look at decision-making and accountability.

00:16:22: Both have become even more challenging now that AI is part of our work.

00:16:27: If you enjoy this podcast share it with others.

00:16:30: Connect With Me on LinkedIn.

00:16:32: I Really Enjoy The Exchange With My Audience.

00:16:35: Meanwhile, stay curious.

00:16:37: Stay tuned!

00:16:38: Thanks for tuning into the New Work Playbook where work is better because people matter.